It started with a cry for help.
30 minutes after pulling the plug on my recent relationship and 25 minutes after a small panic attack, I re-joined (after too much time away) a mindfulness, meditation and mindset training group called M21 Revolution led by two amazing teachers, Jess Gumkowski and Goldyn Duffy. I was in an emotional free-fall and desperately needed something to hold onto; some grounding.
I tumbled into this group (which is hosted on Facebook) like a tornado careening down an icy slope and left a post begging for help and guidance while outlining all my fears and burdens and seemingly insurmountable problems. I was alone. I was heartbroken. I was scared. I was stressed by the demands of my school work and the lack of actual, paying work. I was wracked with self-doubt. I was $300 short on rent and had no idea where the money was going to come from. The list goes on…
Goldyn, Jess and many others in the group responded in the most loving and open way. No one offered to solve my problems for me. No one paid my rent or gave me a job or offered to be my boyfriend. Nobody even gave me the well-intentioned albeit deeply unhelpful “It’ll be ok.” or worse, “You’ll be ok.” Instead, everyone acted from a place of complete and unrestrained love and said, “You’re in the right place. You are not alone. You are loved. Stay present. Deepen your practice. Your best self has never left you and we’re here to help you see that.” That’s how high-level this group is. They’re amazing people and I’m proud to be able to live and learn among them.
Anyway, between that and some very long, teary hugs from my mom I was starting to actually believe that there might be light at the other end of this horrible, horrible tunnel.
In Goldyn’s thoughtful response to my post, she offered to mail me a copy of her book, Quantum Speak: Ignite the Fire Within. What seemed like no-time-flat later, I heard a loud THWAK! near the front door to my apartment while I was making tea in the kitchen. Upon investigation, I found a small brown paper package on the floor under the mail-slot that should not have made that loud of a sound. But this is how Goldyn’s book arrived into my life: unceremoniously and yet somehow vociferously. As if to say, “I’m here!! Put down that tea, girl! It’s time to up-level your consciousness!”
I tore open the package and the love that emanated from the pages of this book was palpable. I kid you not. It had an electric and positive energy that I felt before I even opened the cover. I’m not a traditionally religious person, but there is no doubt in my mind that Goldyn Duffy is one of my angels. I have a feeling I am not the only one who feels that way, but I like to think of this book in those terms: sent by an angel when I needed it most.
Quantum Speak is about how we all have the power to transform our lives and our realities so it’s not possible to read this book and not feel its effect on your life. Goldyn’s messages are informed by principles of Quantum Physics in terms of the physics of particle energy and The Universal Law of Attraction. Her insights also align beautifully with the principles of Yoga, Buddhist Loving-Kindness Meditation and Mindfulness practice, and even Dr. Bruce Lipton’s Biology of Belief. It’s a quick read, but I really wanted to take my time with it; letting the message of each chapter not only sink in fully but also activate in my reality.
Then again, there is so much wisdom, so much truth, and so many answers in those pages that it was actually really hard to put down. I found myself picking it up constantly. I would notice something challenging arising in my heart or my thoughts, flip it open, and miraculously read exactly what I needed to hear.
What if I’ve made a terrible mistake? What if I just left the only guy who will ever make me happy? I’m a giant idiot and my heart hurts and I just want it to stop.
Now your job is to become super aware and interrupt the thought patterns that bring you back to a low-level vibration.
– Quantum Speak, p. 46
My reasons for going back to school are all dumb and superficial. There’s no way they’re good enough to get me through this. I should just quit now and try to pay off my loans.
The funny thing about desire is that if it is something you are meant to do, it will never fully go away. You can push it down for years and try to ignore it, but the reality is you will just get more and more miserable in what you are living.
– Quantum Speak, p. 54
How in the world am I going to pay rent? Or eat? I suppose I could walk to school … it’d only take an hour. Why is there no work coming in?? I should do something else. ANYTHING else.
It is easy for us to work from fear and do things to make money when we feel there may be no other alternative. This is the deal: There is always another alternative. There are always ways in which we will be supported when we say no to things that are simply not working for us.
– Quantum Speak, p. 63
I’m terrified that my dissertation topic is terrible or impossible or just not interesting. What happens when I find out that I’m just downright BAD at this?! Then I’ll have sacrificed so much for nothing.
It’s ok if you have fear as long as you keep moving forward and listen to your inner guidance.
If you dive deep into allowing and believing it’s always working out for you, your faith will expand and you will tap into infinite miracles.
– Quantum Speak, p. 64 and p. 67
It happened just like that! Like an actually magical Magic 8 Ball. But instead of feeling unsatisfied or bewildered by the answer, each message felt like a hug and sigh of relief. I am so grateful for these words and the perfect timing with which they THWAKed through my front door.
I am happy to report that I am no longer a tornado careening downhill into a pit of despair. I no longer see my life as lacking anything. I am present and full of gratitude for everything I have and am PROUD of myself for everything I accomplish each day. Meanwhile, I’m getting clearer and clearer about what I want and why I want it and I trust with complete faith that these desires will, in fact, unfold; but it’s not remotely important (or up to me) how exactly they do so.
So, I’ll leave you with a few final thoughts from Goldyn:
Pay attention to the signs from the Universe.
– Quantum Speak, p.77
Your soul already knows where you are going.
Books & References
Quantum Speak by Goldyn Duffy (2019)
M21 Revolution – Mindfulness, Meditation & Mindset Community led by Jess Gumkowski and Goldyn Duffy
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